I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
