i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
