dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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