I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
