I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
