So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
