So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
