Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
