so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
