If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
