Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
