walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
