I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
