sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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