Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
