I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize