i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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