We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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