My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
