I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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