He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Someone shattered a urinal.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
