who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
His nipple licking is glorious
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