New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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