Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
