the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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