Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
