you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
