btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
