So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
