If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
