Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
