I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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