1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
