Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
