Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
