Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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