Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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