Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
