DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
