i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
