I just pynch a tree in the face
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sobbing to NWA
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
