New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
