there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
