i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
