My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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