i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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