Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
