the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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