We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
