I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
