remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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