Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize