I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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