Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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