I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
