At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
