sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
