I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
