We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
